Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 11/6/14

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Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are=&0=& (UNDER THE DOME) are developing a CBS series about – I swear – “the life of L.A.’s female director of public health. (Yeppers, kids, this just may be the most subtle introduction of a series about ebola of the week. But c’mon, let’s get real. It’s also still likely to be the most exploitive series on network TV.) =&1=& (30 ROCK) is writing the pilot for a Fox comedy that “centers on a 25-year-old-woman who works at a frozen yogurt shop and whose life is going nowhere – until she discovers that she’s telekinetic.” (I swear that’s a for real press release description, oh naive readers. And I’m eager to see this series. 22 minutes a week of an angry young woman turning frozen yogurt concoctions into soaring, swooping, diving, attacking weapons. Yer friendly neighborhood muncher can’t wait to see the video game version!) Jennifer Johnson (THE FOLLOWING) is turning the Spanish language drama EL BARCO into an English language series called THE MAGELLAN, which seems to be a kind of apocalypse meets LOST thing. (Aimed, of course, at 13 year olds. Or older and younger folk with the sensibilities of 13 year olds cuz…you guessed it…the show is set for The CW.) JJ Philbin & Josh Malmuth (NEW GIRL) are writing the pilot for BACHELOR PARTY, an ABC comedy pilot “inspired by” the 1984 film BACHELOR PARTY. (What does “inspired by” mean, little ones? Well, basically it means that calling anything a reboot will get Very Bad Press, so the development geniuses have buried that word. For now anyway. Now if they’d only bury the premise!)

That’s it for now. Write in and tell munchilito what you’ve sold today. TVWriter™ can’t wait to brag to all your friends. (And, more importantly, enemies. Hehehe….)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 10/29/14

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Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are=&0=& (GLEE) is writing what seems to be an ABC comedy pilot called NO ANGELS. (I say “seems to be” cuz the logline gives me absolutely zero inkling. What? You don’t believe me? Here it is:  NO ANGELS “is about a group of nurses who work together and live together. Work issues become home issues. Home issues become work issues. And eventually it’s hard to tell which is which.” On second thought, I’m predicting comedy. Cuz the only thing that could make this situation credibly dramatic is if Richard Speck knocks on their door.) Lance Krall (IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA) is writing HOLLYWOOD & VINE, a comedy series based on material from the Vine video platform. (Cuz the web’s time has come, dear children. Hop aboard the bus and rocket to stardom! For reals.)

That’s it for now. Write in and tell munchilito what you’ve sold today. TVWriter™ can’t wait to brag to all your friends. (And, more importantly, enemies. Hehehe….)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 10/19/14

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Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are=&0=& (TRANSPORTER) is developing RANSOM, a series about a hostage negotiator set for international exploitation presentation.  (Ooh, a series where week after week the hero talks to crazy and dangerous people and somehow he and the hostages all manage to survive. Oh, well, seeing the titles will probably be great for insomnia. Wonder if the FDA will approve it.) Mark Cherry (DEVIOUS MAIDS) and Neal Baer (UNDER THE DOME) have partnered to create a series for The CW called CHEERLEADER DEATH SQUAD. (Honest. I swear to whatever god it is who cares that we swear. That’s the name. And no, I don’t have any more info than that although it may be available elsewhere cuz the name was enough for me to expectorate a little and call my mommy to ask if it’s okay if I move back into her womb. Sorry death squad and cheerleader fans.)

That’s it for now. Write in and tell munchilito what you’ve sold today. TVWriter™ can’t wait to brag to all your friends. (And, more importantly, enemies. Hehehe….)

Killing Your Characters? Make Sure You Off ‘Em Right

George R.R. Martin and his GAME OF THRONES adaptors sure do. And now you too can learn the best ways of writing all those icky scenes of your characters croaking.

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Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 11/10/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Neal Baer (UNDER THE DOME) is adapting the old pulp magazine series, The Avenger into a series for The CW. (Cuz let’s face it, the title is hot, and the old magazine company – Conde Nast – that owns the rights to it wants to cash in. But if you’re a fan of the pulp version we think you’re going to be greatly surprised by what any CW take on the character will be like. Luckily for us, we’ve never read the old mags, but still…)
  • Dean Widenmann (he wrote a CBS pilot called BACK) is adapting Alexandra Robbins’ nonfiction book, The Secrets Of The Tomb: Skull And Bones, The Ivy League And The Hidden Paths Of Power, into an ABC serial drama called THE ORDER. (And this could be very cool indeed cuz…”Skull and Bones.” Yeah!)
  • Rene Balcer (LAW & ORDER) is developing a Starz drama about the FBI in the ’80s, when porn became the big business it isn’t today. (Cuz people gave a shit about it then, while now amateurs and their own personal sex lives rule. At least that’s how it seems to us since we of course know nothing whatsoever about what’s happening in the sex trade. Nosirree. Absolutely not. Un-uh.)
  • Tina Fey & Robert Carlock (30 ROCK) are writing a straight-to-series comedy about a woman who escapes from a doomsday cult and starts life over again in NYC. (Where, undoubtedly, she discovers a whole new sort of doomsday that might even be worse. At least that’s what we hear NYB is like. After all, we of course know nothing about the Big Apple cuz we hid out on Long Island for the first 18 years of our life.)
  • Moshe Kasher (a stand-up comedian, natch) is also writing and starring in an autobiographical comedy for Showtime. (Cuz, hey, Moshe Kasher! He’s a household name, right! We of course know nothing about the comedy biz or Showtime cuz, as our diatribes here have probably made pretty clear, we never ever ever even watch fucking TV. Um…too far? Did we just cross some kind of line? Let us know. Or not. Actually, preferably not. Thanks! Hope you’ve had a terrific weekend!)