munchman sees ‘Homecoming’ – Aiyee! Yikes! Oh Noooo!

Can you see Julia Roberts’ face here? Can you see what’s going on in this scene? Neither can I.

by munchman

THE STORY (direct from Wikipedia, so you know it’s accurate and not just yer friendly neighborhood munchero messing about: 

Heidi Bergman is a caseworker at Homecoming, a facility that helps soldiers transition back to civilian life. She leaves Homecoming to start a new life living with her mother and working as a small-town waitress. Years later, the Department of Defense questions why she left, which makes Heidi realize that there’s a whole other story behind the one that she’s been telling herself. Oscar winner Julia Roberts stars as Heidi in the first regular TV series role of her career. “Homecoming” is based a podcast of the same name.

THE GOOD: 

  • It’s created and written by Mr. Robot’s Sam Esmail & based on a podcast by Micah Bloomberg and Eli Horowitz
  • It stars a Big Deal Movie Star named Julia Roberts
  • It’s a potentially interesting new twist on the old evil government mind control story
  • It’s beautifully shot, possibly the best looking series in the history of TV anywhere in the world (that isn’t shot in a Scandinavian country anyway)

THE NOT SO GOOD:

  • No matter how great looking this show is it’s still the same old story with the same not really very surprising at all “surprise” ending
  • The dialog has been lauded for its “realism,” which in this case means that is boring as hell
  • If the dialog and story aren’t boring enough to put you to sleep long before you finish watching even the first episode of this overrated 10 episode season, the pacing will sure as hell do it for ya
  • Did I say it’s beautifully shot? It is, indeed, but most of the shots are so dark and shadowy that I was so irritated at not being able to understand what I was seeing that the beauty didn’t matter. I’m thinking the purpose behind the darkness wasn’t necessarily creative but rather done to disguise how old, bedraggled, and generally unpleasant Former Big Deal Movie Star Julia Roberts now looks

CONCLUSION:

A total waste of time brought to us by Amazon, the company that may have speedy delivery but sure can’t get TV (or film) production right. I know critics are raving about it, but hey, they’re critics, which means that they’re also probably wannabe TV and film writers, which in turn means that their futures are dependent on pleasing not the viewers but the production entities they hope to work for in the future.

Just Because You Can’t Be a Superhero Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Own One

by munchman

Ooh, ya gotta screw this motherfucker into the wall. Make sure you hang it straight!

Life got it out for ya? First yer keys go missing, then your phone, then your glasses, maybe a condom?

A little item called Heroshelf has ya covered, kiddies. You hang it, and, voila, it holds all those necessary little bits that always seem to have vanished onto another plane of existence when ya want ’em.

This superhero keyholder and organizer costs fiftyish bucks. You can find out all about it and even buy it (gasp? for reals?) at Animi Causa. Just CLICK RIGHT HERE

Tell ’em yer favorite neighborhood munchaderio sentcha!

munchman

 

munchman: Kudos to Tumblr

by munchman

Yeah, yeah, yeah…okay, okay, okay. I gotta admit that Tumblr, which Yer Friendly Neighborhood Munchacho has always thought of as a kind of Blogspot wannabe, has manned up and done the right thing vis a vis Russian Intelligence, fake news, and all that pathetic poo that Trump, Putin, and their various handlers, enablers, and subjects hath wrought.

In other words, here’s an email I got over the weekend from Tumblr about muncharoni’s very own Tumblr account:

Thanks for caring about us, Tumbleros. And for doing what neither Twitter or Facebook have. You now have something I very seldom give anybody for anything – my respect.

Yer Friendly Neighborhood Muncher

Larry Brody: How Not To Write A Great TV or Film Script

by Larry Brody

Just what you need to start off the week: 18 non-rules (because the Brode doesn’t believe in rules) guaranteed to bring your beloved pet TV or film project to a lowly and humiliating end.

1. Start without an outline and wing it.

2. Don’t bother having a central theme.

3. Don’t bother having a central problem.

4. Keep everyone peaceful and avoid conflict at all costs.

5. Have your characters talk and talk and talk.

6. Make sure that key events happen off camera.

7. Start without an outline and wing it.

8. Make your dialog totally realistic, plain, and dull.

9. Don’t write anything that hasn’t been seen before.

10. Have lots of chase scenes.

11. Better yet, make the whole script one long chase.

12. Start without an outline and wing it.

13. Create characters not even a mother could love.

14. Remember that a joke isn’t funny unless you’ve already laughed at it in another movie.

15. Make all your characters victims adrift in the sea of fate.

16. Use lots of fancy descriptive phrases like “adrift in the sea of fate.”

17. Make sure all your characters fail.

18. Did I say to start without an outline and wing it?

There you go!

Want to thank me? It’s easy. Simply do not – I repeat, do not – succumb to any of the writing temptations listed above.

LYMI, LB

Munchman: The Best Place on the Web to Learn about TV Writing – Even If You Can’t Read!

How about that headline? Clickbait or fact, what do you think?

Take a look and then let me know:

Truth to tell, el munchero found Gray Jones’ YouTube channel a very helpful site indeed, and – maybe more importantly – its very existence in this way, shape and form points out something every writer needs to know:

The most important thing you can learn about making it as a television writer is HOW TO SELL!

Damn, I wish I had a voice like Gray Jones.

That’s it, kids, yer friendly neighborhood munchman’s gotta go before I completely, helplessly, hopelessly, superlatively crack up.

Seeya,

munchman!