Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 11/10/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Neal Baer (UNDER THE DOME) is adapting the old pulp magazine series, The Avenger into a series for The CW. (Cuz let’s face it, the title is hot, and the old magazine company – Conde Nast – that owns the rights to it wants to cash in. But if you’re a fan of the pulp version we think you’re going to be greatly surprised by what any CW take on the character will be like. Luckily for us, we’ve never read the old mags, but still…)
  • Dean Widenmann (he wrote a CBS pilot called BACK) is adapting Alexandra Robbins’ nonfiction book, The Secrets Of The Tomb: Skull And Bones, The Ivy League And The Hidden Paths Of Power, into an ABC serial drama called THE ORDER. (And this could be very cool indeed cuz…”Skull and Bones.” Yeah!)
  • Rene Balcer (LAW & ORDER) is developing a Starz drama about the FBI in the ’80s, when porn became the big business it isn’t today. (Cuz people gave a shit about it then, while now amateurs and their own personal sex lives rule. At least that’s how it seems to us since we of course know nothing whatsoever about what’s happening in the sex trade. Nosirree. Absolutely not. Un-uh.)
  • Tina Fey & Robert Carlock (30 ROCK) are writing a straight-to-series comedy about a woman who escapes from a doomsday cult and starts life over again in NYC. (Where, undoubtedly, she discovers a whole new sort of doomsday that might even be worse. At least that’s what we hear NYB is like. After all, we of course know nothing about the Big Apple cuz we hid out on Long Island for the first 18 years of our life.)
  • Moshe Kasher (a stand-up comedian, natch) is also writing and starring in an autobiographical comedy for Showtime. (Cuz, hey, Moshe Kasher! He’s a household name, right! We of course know nothing about the comedy biz or Showtime cuz, as our diatribes here have probably made pretty clear, we never ever ever even watch fucking TV. Um…too far? Did we just cross some kind of line? Let us know. Or not. Actually, preferably not. Thanks! Hope you’ve had a terrific weekend!)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 3/18/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Rene Balcer (LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT) will be showrunner of the new CBS drama, THE ORDAINED, working with Lisa Cullen, the show’s creator. (So if you’re an old writer bud, now’s the time to start bugging your pal for a new gig!)
  • Andy Briggs (TARZAN ) is writing THE DRAKE EQUATION, a drama pilot about a Space Intelligence Agency. (And the showrunner will be Tim Kring. But don’t worry about getting on staff just yet. The notion is still homeless for now. )
  • Aaron Guzikowski (PRISONERS) has gotten the Sundance Channel to greenlight his drama series THE DESCENDANTS straight to series. Of course, he had to make them the owners of the show, but, hey, we do what we gotta do. (And now what you’ve got to do is find out who you know who’s BFF with Aaron and use that to make your writing staff dreams come true. We know you’ve already got the talent, right?
  • Curtis Gwinn (NTSF:SD:SVU, DEATH VALLEY), Channing Powell (WHITE COLLAR), and Matt Negrete (also WHITE COLLAR) have joined the writing staff of THE WALKING DEAD, with Curtis as Supervising Producer. (So call ’em! Now!)
  • Kyle Killen (AWAKE) has written INFLUENCE, a drama pilot for ABC that will star Christian Slater as a slick ex-con who solves people’s problems by, um, manipulating the folks who’re giving them trouble. (We love these truelife adventures!)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 12/22/12

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • John Leguizamo (Mr. Stand-Up, sorta) & Chris Sheridan (THE FAMILY GUY) are writing the pilot for an untitled ABC comedy based on Leguizamo’s life as a Bronx Latino now living on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. (Because Leguizamo’s last pilot script got shitcanned, but ABC and he still have this deal, so…)
  • Rene Balcer (LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT) is writing DARKNET, a kind of X-FILES meets the MATRIX thing as a pilot for USA. (Because USA, Rene, and we all want to see if the dood can deliver without Dick Wolf on his back. We’re rootin’ for ya, Rene.)
  • Oren Moverman & Anthony Swofford (THE MESSENGER and JARHEAD, respectively) are developing LAUGHS UNLIMITED, a drama about U.S. servicemen who return from duty in the MIddle East with PTSD, for HBO. (Because human time bombs are dramatic gold…and don’t think for one minute that the servicemen won’t be portrayed just that way. Yes, we’ll be happy to put our money where our mouth is.)
  • Tyler Perry (we figure you know what he’s done) is developing 2 shows for OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network he financially bailed out just a couple of months ago. THE HAVES AND THE HAVE NOTS is a drama, and LOVE THY NEIGHBOR is a comedy. (Because if there’s anything Tyler knows about it’s having and not having and loving too. What? You don’t believe us? Hey, just ask him.)