munchman: The Kardashians Are Writing an S-F Novel

Kendall and Kylie Jenner Reveal Latest Project: They’re Writing a Book!
by Ken Baker and Natalie Finn

Kendall and Kylie Jenner could be penning the next Twilight.

The Keeping Up With the Kardashians stars have exclusively revealed to E! News that they are working on a novel together, aimed at the young-adult audience that can’t get enough of Harry Potter, The Hunger Games and the aforementioned pretty successful vampire series.

So, what genre has captured the sisters’ imagination? And when do we get to read the thing?!

Kendall says they’re aiming to have their as-yet untitled book ready to go by next summer.

“I think we will definitely get it done with how fast [the process] is going,” Kylie added. First, they brainstormed with mom and Kris Jenner…and All Things Kardashian author Kris Jenner, who then sent their notes to her daughters’ other manager.

And now, they’re collaborating with cowriter Maya Sloane on a science-fiction story “set 200 years in the future”—the first in a possible series, which is why they aren’t putting all of their ideas in one book—for publisher Karen Hunter at Simon & Schuster.

Yes, the model siblings may be more known for their fashion sense and posing prowess—but don’t count them out in the literature department.

“We want to do something so different, something that we really love,” Kendall told us. Both she and Kylie are huge fans of the Harry Potter and Hunger Games series (they dig Katniss Everdeen’s girl power message, of course)—and it turns out English is their favorite subject.

But while Katniss likes her alone time, Kendall and Kylie’s debut novel will feature two sisters.

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OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD…

Mercy, please, I swear if they do this I’ll pluck out my eyes– throw away my Kindle sell my Kindle talk real bad about, um, everything. Everything in the universe, you’ll see. Yeah, that’s it. I will.

Eww.

munchman

munchman: I Miss the Olsen Twins

Remember what fun the countdown to their 18th birthday was?

Mary-Kate, Ashley Slammed as “Trollsens” By PETA for New Designer Fur Bag

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are being ripped by PETA over a new fur bag from their luxury line, The Row.

The actresses-turned-designers recently unveiled the patchwork purse, which retails for a whopping $16,900 and is also available with calf and alligator skin.

In a statement furnished to Gossip Cop, PETA blasts the Olsens for the product, saying, “If it looks like a troll and acts like a troll, it’s probably a Trollsen Twin — or someone wearing one of their new $16,000 totes, which are made from the fur and skins of innocent animals.”

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So many openings for jokes. So little interest…

munchman

LOUIE is Back! Tonight!

A TVWriter™ Don’t Miss, even if the Hollywood Reporter, which becomes more obsolete by the second, loves it. Sometimes even dying publications can get their swan songs right. (? Never mind. Sorry.)

Louie: TV Review
by Tim Goodman

Still TV’s greatest comedy, with observational humor, a sad-sack life, a fearless look into the mundane — FX’s “Louie” is a thing of original beauty…

The Bottom Line
A fictional look at the life of Louie C.K., based kinda-sorta on his own, filled with outrageous laughs, a DIY sensibility, no creative interference and the kind of ground-up originality that’s so simple and hilariously true that it almost shocks you with how naturalistic the show is…

In its third season Louie is the gold standard for comedy and it remains both ridiculous and humanistic as ever, like a show handed over to a guy who didn’t want to make something the way that everybody before him had.

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P. Diddy Wouldn’t Know a B-Flat if It Hit Him

by Larry Brody

Quincy and Diddy enjoy their spoils

For reasons known only to the Great God of Irony, I’ve been good – I mean, really good – at two things over the years. Writing TV and playing the drums.

The irony of it being that both of those are skills that every single person in the universe believes he or she also has mastered…or could with, like, 45 minutes of fun masquerading as work.

So I gave up the professional writer’s stone face and laughed out loud at the following:

Quincy Jones Dings P. Diddy at Spotify Launch: ‘He Couldn’t Recognize a B-Flat’

By Sharon Waxman
Spotify brought producer Quincy Jones to launch their new app featuring artist-curated playlists on Tuesday, but the music legend couldn’t resist dinging P. Diddy for being a music illiterate while touting the music technology.

“P. Diddy wouldn’t know a B-flat” if it hit him, said Jones in a conversation with musician Bruno Mars to mark the occasion of the app launch. “P. Diddy has a doctorate in marketing…. He’s got clothes companies and Ciroc vodka.”

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FTR: My older son went to school with one of Quincy’s daughters. She’s a sitcom star now. He’s a producer of BigMedia Films You’ve Actually Seen. Most people probably think they could do that too, if they just had another 45 minutes to mess around.

They can’t.

Show business is hard, gang. Most of the people who don’t “make it” are so amazingly talented and skilled that your skulls would explode if you watched them do their thing. Those who do make it have all that plus a little something called discipline,  which in this context is the ability to work not merely until they drop but after they’ve dropped as well. Coupled with an affability that would make the kindliest old grandma look like Dr. Evil.

(Yes, it’s true – that affability often is the first thing to go after the rocket to stardom ensconces Ms./Mr. Big Talent in the night sky.)

Both B. Diddy and Quincy Jones know what they’re doing. They just do different things. If you want to succeed, play it smart: Learn ’em all.

What Writers Can Learn from Saving Hope (Part I)

Kathy Fuller is a hell of a writer.  She’s the best-selling author of over twenty novels and novellas, in addition to several published articles. Her publishers include Tyndale, Avalon, Adams Media, and Thomas Nelson.  TVWriter™ is proud to present her here and hopes she forgives us for just plain being us and graces the site with her presence again and again. (Well, until she finishes this 3-part series for sure.)

by Kathy Fuller

This summer NBC picked up the Canadian show Saving Hope and shoved it into its Thursday night line-up. Remember when Thursdays used to be must watch TV on NBC? Me either. I’ve had my fill of hospital dramas, but I tuned in for one reason: Michael Shanks. However, my love admiration of Shanks only goes so far. Saving Hope is riddled with basic writing errors—and don’t get me started on the ridiculous overuse of lens flares.

So what can writers learn from a show that’s pretty much a writing failure? Plenty.

Mistake #1: Saving or Raising?

Titles are important. They convey the show’s subject matter. Take Criminal Minds. Those two words tell you the premise: criminals and their psychology. Titles can also link to a show’s theme, such as Parenthood. These titles are understandable, relatable (for the most part) and in today’s current TV landscape, unique. Are they brilliantly unique? No, but they aren’t similar to what’s currently on the tube.

There’s nothing wrong with Saving Hope as a title per se. It’s a little too clever in that the hospital is named Hope-Zion and doctors usually save people.  But there’s a really good show currently airing called Raising Hope. I think I googled Michael Shanks/Raising Hope about five times before I realized he’s not on Raising Hope. At first I thought I was a moron for getting the two mixed up, but I soon discovered I wasn’t the only one confused.

When it comes to writing, nothing is too precious that it can’t be changed, adapted, deleted, or annihilated when necessary. I understand why the producers are clinging to this ah-mazing title that ties in so neatly with the show. But when viewers get the two titles confused, ah-mazing becomes annoying.

Want your show to stand out in the crowded TV landscape? Choose a simple, creative, original title that reflects the core topic, captures audience attention, and makes people want to tune in. Even if it’s the bestest title ever, if its going to cause confusion, come up with something else.

Later this week: Don’t just stand there, do something!