Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 11/20/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Shane Dawson (Newb Who’s a Big Deal on Youtube, bitches! ) has sold a comedy series, LOSIN’ IT, to NBC, and Darlene Hunt will write the pilot based on their story. (The show is a workplace comedy about a weight loss center, which to us means that it’ll get a huge tune-in for the first episode. But will its viewers then be able to keep to their LOSIN’ IT diet? Or will NBC screw it up?)
  • Ricky Blitt (THE FAMILY GUY) is developing a comedy called HERE’S YOUR DAMN FAMILY for Fox. (And we don’t care what its about or how well – or badly – it’s executed, we’ll watch the series out of absolute, unconditional love for the title.)
  • Melissa Rosenberg (DEXTER) is writing JESSICA JONES for ABC, based on the Marvel Comics 2nd – maybe even 3rd – tier character. (But the important thing here is that it’s a superhero adventure series centered on a woman, and that’s huge in both the TV and comics industries, where discrimination has always been solidly entrenched. Fingers so crossed for this one.)
  • Joe Hill (LOCKE & KEY comic book) is writing a reboot of TALES OF THE DARKSIDE. (Which is good news even to re-boot hating TVWriter™, mainly cuz we’d thought Team Mediocrity AKA Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, were going to have that gig. Yeah, we know, calling those guys mediocre is actually giving them the benefit of the doubt. But that’s us…kind to a fault!)
  • Tim Kring (HEROES) & Gideon Raff (HOMELAND) are writing DIG, a 6 episode action series for USA about an FBI agent in Jerusalem who discovers a 2000 year conspiracy that’s about to come to fruition. (You know the rest, world-shaking danger ensues…with each episode becoming more tedious than the one that preceeded it until, at the end, only about 1/5 of the original audience is there to see how it ends. Cuz…HEROES and HOMELAND, you know?)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 12/14/12

Latest News About Writers Doing Better Than We Are

  • Bridget Tyler (BURN NOTICE) is writing the USA pilot HORIZON, a science fiction show set during World War II. (Because, evidently, network executives think the current generation of TV viewers, who’ve barely even heard of WWII will care.)
  • Unknown Writer (um, do we really have to explain why we aren’t putting some credits in here?) will soon be writing the ABC pilot BASTARDS, about a Cuban-American family that discovers the family patriarch had a child with the family’s maid decades ago. (Because network executives think Ahnold has made maid-shtupping cool?)
  • Philip Gawthorne (EASTENDERS, among other UK shows) is writing the pilot for the drama HUMAN ERROR for Starz. The show is about a “synthetic” human detective in the near future. (Because Data is the most popular member of the cast on all versions of STAR TREK re-runs. Or not.)
  • Gideon Raff (Israeli version of TYRANT) has written the pilot for, yes, a U.S. version of the same show for FX. TYRANT tells what happens to a modest American family when it’s drawn into the conspiracies of a “turbulent Middle Eastern nation.” (Why is FX bothering to make the family American when this show is clearly going to be all about Israel? Could it be because U.S. audiences are considered the most xenophobic in the world? Hmm?)
  • Robert Zemeckis (BACK TO THE FUTURE) is reviving his feature film, DEATH BECOMES HER, a comedy about 2 bitchy women who take an eternal youth serum and must live forever with its consequences, as a drama for Bravo. (Why a drama? Because making it a sitcom would be too sane an idea, of course!)

The TV Academy Gave Out Some Emmys The Other Night

…but we just couldn’t work up enough interest to watch. No, wait, we don’t mean that. We mean that we’re against the idea of artists being regarded as competing for things like awards. Competing for jobs, sure, but awards?  That’s soo uncreative. Anyway here are all the winners. The ones we care about, that is:

Hmm, this dude isn’t writing so he must be singing

Writing for a Comedy Series
Louis C.K.: LOUIE: Pregnant

Writing for a Variety Special
Louis C.K.: Live at the Beacon Theatre, Louis C.K.

Writing for a Drama Series
Alex Gansa, Howard Gordon & Gideon Raff: HOMELAND

Writing for a Miniseries, Movie, or Dramatic Special?
Danny Strong: GAME CHANGE

Our congratulations all these fine writers. You’ve earned our praise, our support, and our envy!