Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 11/20/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Shane Dawson (Newb Who’s a Big Deal on Youtube, bitches! ) has sold a comedy series, LOSIN’ IT, to NBC, and Darlene Hunt will write the pilot based on their story. (The show is a workplace comedy about a weight loss center, which to us means that it’ll get a huge tune-in for the first episode. But will its viewers then be able to keep to their LOSIN’ IT diet? Or will NBC screw it up?)
  • Ricky Blitt (THE FAMILY GUY) is developing a comedy called HERE’S YOUR DAMN FAMILY for Fox. (And we don’t care what its about or how well – or badly – it’s executed, we’ll watch the series out of absolute, unconditional love for the title.)
  • Melissa Rosenberg (DEXTER) is writing JESSICA JONES for ABC, based on the Marvel Comics 2nd – maybe even 3rd – tier character. (But the important thing here is that it’s a superhero adventure series centered on a woman, and that’s huge in both the TV and comics industries, where discrimination has always been solidly entrenched. Fingers so crossed for this one.)
  • Joe Hill (LOCKE & KEY comic book) is writing a reboot of TALES OF THE DARKSIDE. (Which is good news even to re-boot hating TVWriter™, mainly cuz we’d thought Team Mediocrity AKA Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, were going to have that gig. Yeah, we know, calling those guys mediocre is actually giving them the benefit of the doubt. But that’s us…kind to a fault!)
  • Tim Kring (HEROES) & Gideon Raff (HOMELAND) are writing DIG, a 6 episode action series for USA about an FBI agent in Jerusalem who discovers a 2000 year conspiracy that’s about to come to fruition. (You know the rest, world-shaking danger ensues…with each episode becoming more tedious than the one that preceeded it until, at the end, only about 1/5 of the original audience is there to see how it ends. Cuz…HEROES and HOMELAND, you know?)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 9/13/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Matt Wheeler (newbie!) is writing the pilot for CBS’ SALVATION, a drama series about an earthwide catastrophe and its aftermath. Which seems fitting inasmuch as the concept was originated by, and will be produced by, those masters of disaster Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci & Peter Lenkov of HAWAII FIVE-) reboot, um, fame.)
  • Adam Armus & Nora Kay Foster (XENA) are adapting Danielle Paige’s young adult novel Dorothy Must Die into a series for the CW. (Uh-0h, this is yet another Wizard of Oz-based project. Frank Baum’s lilterary estate must be the masters of high-fives by now.)
  • Vijal Patel (TROPHY WIFE) is writing a Fox sitcom pilot about “tiger parents” who regret giving their kids too much confidence. (Maybe somebody can explain what the hell a tiger parent is and why too much self-confidence can be bad? Wonder if the Fox execs even know….)
  • Sarah Thorp (THE BOUNTY HUNTER) is writing an as yet untitled drama series about a family that’s being mysteriously stalked for ABC. (No, ABC didn’t put the stalker up to it…or did they?)
  • Matt Nix (BURN NOTICE) is thisclose to a pilot order from USA for COMPLICATIONS, his medical drama about a proactive doctor. (Wait, don’t despair. This one could be pretty cool. The doc gets involved in the environmental conditions that cause his patients’ problems. Like, you know, companies that dump dangerous chemicals, gang violence, that kind of thing. This could kick butt – provided the doctor kicks a little butt himself now and then.)
  • David Hudgins (FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS) just sold an untitled drama about a maverick judge to CBS. (Cuz if there’s one thing CBS adores it’s mavericks. Right, Les M.?)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 6/11/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Grant Dekernion (newbie!) has sold a new animatged comedy to FXX, a new spinoff network from FX. The show is about a gay white rapper recently released from prison and searching for redemption. (Newbie sells series about gay rapper? Why didn’t we think of that ourselves? D-d-d-dang.)
  • Roberto Orci (STAR TREK reboot and more) has written the pilot for a drama described as “a Latino James Bond” for the El Rey network, also a new spinoff, this one from parent company Univision. The series is about a soccer star/playboy who doubles as a spy and has already been green-lighted for production. (This one’s live action…although we’re sensing a certain animation type vibe.)
  • Amy Holden Jones (MYSTIC PIZZA) has sold THE BLACK BOX to ABC with an initial order of 13 episodes. The drama series follows a famed neuroscientist who struggles with mental illness. (How does she struggle? Does she know karate? Kung fu? Sorry, we’re just crazy, zany verb fetishists at heart.)
  • John Eisendrath (the upcoming series THE BLACKLIST) will be showrunner of THE BLACK BOX when it goes into production. (Cuz he’s really good in the room, we suppose. Although we have to admit to being impressed by his credit on FELICITY, which often seemed to be about mental illness, didn’t it?)
  • Tony Tost (LONGMIRE) is writing HEARTLAND TRUCKING, a drama pilot for Showtime about, you know truckers. Oh, and mobsters too. (Tost is very hot now due to the almost-success of LONGMIRE. We just hope that HEARTLAND TRUCKING will have a hero under 60…because LONGMIRE doesn’t, see, and…never mind.)

‘Sleepy Hollow’ Story Headed for TV?

…Set in modern day? By the geniuses who took everything the slightest bit Roddenberryish out of STAR TREK? Yikes!

Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci Pitching Modern ‘Sleepy Hollow’ TV Show With Len Wiseman To Direct
by Kevin Jagernauth

After their attempt at non-explosions filmmaking earlier this summer with “People Like Us” fizzled out, it looks like “Transformers” and “Star Trek” franchise writers/producers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci are going back to their bread and butter. Only this time, it’s in the shape of Hollywood’s latest favorite trend — take very old (and more importantly, likely copyright free) fairy tales and popular stories, and goosing them up for modern audiences. And the latest to get the treatment is Washington Irving’s “The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow.”

The duo are currently pitching “Sleepy Hollow,” a reworking of the story of Ichabod Crane that will take place in a contemporary setting, partner him up with female sheriff, and the pair will solve the supernatural mysteries of a town in the midst of a battle between good and evil. This sounds predictably pretty terrible, and if you’re going to remake “Sleepy Hollow” but then remove the period setting it’s known for, it seems entirely pointless to us. But we’re not producers making millions of dollars, are we? Anyway, Kurtzman and Orci and teaming with Phillip Iscove to write the script, with the thoroughly uninspired choice of Len Wiseman to direct.

Read it all

You really should click above to get the full benefit of Kevin Jagernauth’s delicious outrage. We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

Well, maybe we could, but it would’ve taken way too much work. Muchas gracias, Kev!

EDITED TO ADD: Holy crap, Sony sold this project to Fox Network. Somebody get us some of those Fox Network drugs!

EDITED AGAIN TO ADD: Holy another crap,  the CW is developing a whole ‘nuther modern day SLEEPY HOLLOW thing with writers Grant Scharbo and Patrick Macmanus, formerly writers on the short-lived ABC series, MISSING. And this one’s premise sounds just as scornworthy as Sony’s.