HAWAII FIVE-0 Pulls Another Ratings Stunt

Hawaii_FiveO-20110721-69
Yeah, this sure looks like a group of Jimi fans. Right.

In yet another desperate attempt to make up for the fact that the show sucks, HAWAII FIVE-0’s unsung marketing geniuses once again prove that they’re better at their jobs than the writers by coming up with a truly fascinating gimmick.

They’re giving us not one, or two, or even three, but seven – count ’em seven – “unreleased” songs by Jimi Hendrix as the sound track for the January 20th episode.

As major Hendrix fans, we’re thrilled, even though:

  • We’ve already heard all seven tracks as mp3s in various places that – so help us, God – we thought were legal
  • The tracks will be released as part of an album called People, Hell and Angels in early March

We assume that the songs will be in their entirety and certainly in the foreground of the mix, on the album but will be chopped up and/or relegated to background bullshit on HAWAII FIVE-0, so we’re not recommending that everybody drop what you’re doing and watch.

But we do recommend that CBS find a better writing staff for this series, one that can give us stories and characters that entertain us and make us want to watch, so that they don’t have to resort to this cynical exploitation of a dead guitar hero. Make that of The Dead Guitar Hero.

Speaking of the new album:

munchman Sees NCIS

The Good:

Last week’s was the best episode in the run of the series.

The Better:

Because there was no episode on last week.

The Bad:

It’ll be back on the air Tuesday night, and if that isn’t enough, USA is presenting a “Special NCIS Superfan Marathon” tonight at 10 pm Eastern/Pacific Time.

Sorry, boss.

EDITED BY LB TO ADD: Nothing to be sorry about, munchman. Yes, I’ve said this is my current favorite show. But I’ve also said that I’ll be damned if I can figure out why!

munchman

Kathy Sees Criminal Minds S8:5 “The Good Earth”

But I refuse to watch the next episode, “The Apprentice”. The premise turned me off–an unsub who mutilates puppies, then escalates to prostitutes. Um, I don’t think so.

Anyway, back to “The Good Earth”. (Synopsis here, if you’re interested.)

Hotch being…Hotch

After really enjoying “God Complex” last week, “The Good Earth” was kind of a let down. It had a huge ick factor (wood chippers are never used for actual wood chipping on this show) and it was pretty much physically impossible for the unsub to do what she was doing without hulking out first. Actually that might have been fun to see, because the rest of the show wasn’t. It had a little bit of mystery, but mostly it was about the unsub and less about the team doing their profiling jobs. The bright spot is that at least the team speculated at what she was doing before she did it, not after, as a lot of the episodes have done and I have complained about ad nauseum.

So here’s to next week’s show, which I hope has nothing to do with wood chippers, gardening, puppies, and prostitutes.

Kathy Sees WALKING DEAD and HOMELAND

And explains why she’s not gonna watch either of them again.

For your viewing pleasure.

My #2 and #3 shows, Supernatural and Criminal Minds, are getting long in the tooth (and short on fresh ideas), thus I’m compelled to find a couple more shows to latch onto while these take a nosedive wind down their last seasons. My #1 show, Sherlock, isn’t coming back until next year. I’ve got to find my TV crack somewhere. So I decided to try two of the hottest shows around, Walking Dead and Homeland. Guess what? I’m still looking.

First, WD. Not much to say here, considering I couldn’t get through the first episode. I did learn that I don’t like zombies, and this show is too gooey for me. I’ve already been called on the irony that I’ll watch Criminal Minds (creepy in it’s own right) like it’s my job, but not WD. I can’t explain it, other than if the BAU starts dealing with the zombie apocalypse, I’ll bow out. My daughter, who watches WD like it’s her job, recommended I read the books. I think I’ll heed her advice.

Do we look photoshopped to you?

Next was Homeland. I gave this show four episodes before I bailed. But I really had to think about why I wasn’t hooked. I mean, this is the most awesomest show at the moment, right? That’s what the critics say. What all the award winning tells me. What the fans gush about. And therein lies the problem for me–if I’d started watching this show from the moment it premiered, I might still be watching. It’s got good writing, good acting, a few twists…but nothing mind-blowing. Plus, there’s stuff here we’ve seen before ad nauseum–a love triangle, a crazy person/drug addict/alcoholic in a position of importance/authority who has to hide her problems or lose her job, a snotty teenage girl, a sage mentor who has issues of his own, and a hero who’s equally protag and antag.

What’s wrong with that, you ask? Nothing. Makes for good TV, good soap, good movies. But IMO it doesn’t live up to the hype. I felt that if it wasn’t for the F word and the T&A, this show could be on regular TV. And considering the state of regular TV, that’s not a compliment. My expectations were so high for this show, I think I was bound to be disappointed.

I’ll be the first to admit Supernatural isn’t high-brow entertainment, and Criminal Minds has slipped in quality for a while now. (Don’t touch my Sherlock, though. It’s perfect.) I’m not comparing WD and Homeland to those shows. Bottom line–for me it’s a matter of lack of taste for Walking Dead, and a problem with the hype machine for Homeland.

I’m still looking for a few good shows–feel free to comment about your recommendations.

The Hudsonian Sees ARROW

Arrow Hits a Bullseye – by Joshua Hudson

***The pilot episode originally aired on the CW on October 10, 2012 at 8 p.m. EST. What follows is a love triangle between myself, the CW, and Oliver Queen.***

When a movie based on comic book characters makes $1.5 billion worldwide, everyone wants a piece of the action, right? Especially when you have your own catalog of cool characters, and you have yet to make that much. Being shown up by your competition is never a good thing.

Suffice it to say, Arrow is a television show, so it’s not likely to make that kind of money. But, and I can say this with the utmost confidence, Warner Bros. and the CW have themselves a hit TV show.

Arrow is based on the DC Comics character Oliver Queen, aka Green Arrow, and details his journey from being a notoriously spoiled playboy – Tony Stark, anyone? – to a hooded vigilante who’s out to protect his city from those that stand to corrupt it.

This show is everything you want not just as a fanboy, but as an introduction to a character that may get you excited about comics. I personally have never read a Green Arrow comic, but I’m ready to pick up DC’s latest trade paperback featuring Queen. And I read comics every week.

Oliver Queen was aboard a boat with friends and his father when a hurricane tore it apart and he was left to float away in a life raft until stumbling upon an island in the Pacific Ocean. Everyone on the boat died, including his father and his date for the trip, Sarah Lane; who also happened to be his girlfriend’s sister.

When Queen is rescued and returns home, everyone is shocked, surprised, elated, and/or disgusted. Depends on whom you ask, really. Living a life of debauchery will create jealousy amongst peers, but in the case of Dinah “Laurel” Lane, it’s simply anger because he survived and her sister did not. Oh, and she’s hooking up with Queen’s best friend, Tommy Merlyn. It’s the CW. Would you expect anything less than a romantic love triangle?

Queen takes the last dying words of his father to heart, and sets out to help his city become what his father helped destroy. He is targeting the wealthy aristocrats that siphon funds from the poor and manipulate the system only to benefit themselves. To make life easier, Queen turns his father’s old factory into a “home base” of sorts where he trains and plots his next move.

He takes down Adam Hunt in the form of $40 million dollars, and closes Laurel’s case against him. (Oh, she’s a DA, and doesn’t know how to turn down a fight.) Of course, he’s not the only one on the list. There are many others, which will essentially make up the basis of each episode. Luckily, it’s a pretty long list.

There’s a little twist at the end, which I won’t spoil, but it involves Queen’s mother and trying to find out what her late husband told her son. Too much? Do yourself a favor, and watch this show. It’s a good mix of story, action and romance, and will make you appreciate Wednesday nights more than you did before.

My only gripe? Arrow should be paired with Nikita to create the best action-packed two hours on television. And this is on the CW. Who saw that coming?