Today’s TV Writing Deals Dept: 10/7/12

Old TV writing joke: “Know why TV writers brag about their deals? Cuz that’s all they have.” Think about it:

  • Tyler Perry (TYLER PERRY’s HOUSE OF PAYNE, MEET THE BROWNS) is writing and producing 2 new shows for OWN, in return for which he now has a very large ownership stake in the net. (Jeeze, nobody ever told us we had to buy our way into TV…and yet it definitely makes sense. Depressing sense, but sense.)
  • Douglas Segal (THREE KINGS) is writing a supernatural drama about a devil trying to save “compromised souls” for the CW. (Let that be a lesson to us all: No compromise! No surrender! Oh, that isn’t what it means?)
  • M. Night Shyamalan (THE SIXTH SENSE) & John Glenn (EAGLE EYE) are writing the pilot for LOST HORIZON for NBC. (Strangely, LOST HORIZON isn’t based on the book of the same name but on MOBY DICK. We figure somebody misread their high school reading list and still hasn’t been corrected.)
  • Ryan Murphy (GLEE, AMERICAN HORROR STORY, THE NEW NORMAL) is writing the pilot for MONTAUK, a conspiracy thriller, for Fox and an unnamed sitcom for NBC. (Yes, it’s true. We don’t even know this guy and we hate him. We really do. And if that isn’t the essence of showbiz, what is?)
  • Charley and Vlas Parlapanides (IMMORTALS) are writing THE CENTURIAN, about a Marine working with the angel of his best friend for CBS. (The way we hear it, the original pitch was about a Marine working with “the agent” of his best friend, but something got lost in the translation and who’s going to argue with a “Yes?”)
  • GIRLS creator Lena Dunham will be getting over $3,500,000 for her book of essays, Not That Kind of Girl, (because she’s got herself a very hot, in, and trendy series and why should she settle for less?)

 

Kathy sees IMMORTALS

The gods don’t interfere. Except when they do.

by Kathy Fuller

…Or as I like to call it, one hot sepia-toned mess. This movie is what happens when a director is so enthralled with his rad CGI concept he kicks plot, dialogue, characterization, and common sense to the curb. Oh, and thanks for making Henry Cavill look a decade older than he actually is, when he’s supposed to be playing a decade younger. What’s the point in watching this dreck if I can’t even enjoy the hot man lead actor?

One good thing about the movie: the last scene was kind of cool. Other than that, don’t waste your time. Sorry Henry–better luck with Superman.