Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 4/30/14

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are
by munchman

  • Noah Hawley (FARGO) has a new overall deal with FX for the usual developing/writing/producing stuff. (Cuz no boring, depressing, piece of crap show goes unrewarded, and Noah has given us a doozy in the painfully Coen-like FARGO. Congratulations, Noah!)
  • Josh Berman (DROP DEAD DIVA) also has a new overall deal, this one with Sony. (Cuz this being showbiz even the boring, depressing piece of crap show that is DROP DEAD DIVA can make a ton of $$$ for everybody involved. Does your Fabulous Munchkin sound bitter? That’s cuz this kind of thing proves that bitter is better, y’know?)
  • Mitch Hurwitz (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT) also has gotten himself a new overall deal. (His is with Netflix, proving that even though his genius faltered a tad with the ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Netflix, um, “return,” Mitch has more talent in his little toe than any other writer mentioned so far in today’s column.)
  • Comedy Central is moving its really cool web series hosted by Ari Shaffir, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, to the channel itself. Which means that TV viewers will have the chance to hear some damn fascinating stories from Ari and his very funny – brilliantly funny, actually – buds.  (To which the munchman can only say, “Thank God! A reason to live after all!” Smart move, CC execs!)

munchman: Josh Berman Looks Way Too Young to be So Important

Really. Look at this:

Bugs the heck out of me. He looks like the kid I’d hire to mow my lawn. If I had a lawn. And if he didn’t seem so damn confident. I’m not all that into other people being confident around me, you know?

But the youthful Mr. Berman doesn’t need to mow lawns because what he does for a living is create and run shows like DROP DEAD DIVA and the upcoming THE MOB DOCTOR. And to make me hate him even more he has another new project at CBS, based on – yeah, this is upsetting – an article in a snobby-assed East Coast magazine! (Atlantic Monthly)

To top it all off, this wunderkind who should be begging to detail my car (although I don’t have a car worth detailing just yet but someday, kids, you’ll see) just made another overall deal with Sony Pictures TV, for enough money to get me every toy I’ve ever wanted…and that’s with, I’m guessing, only a week’s pay.

According to the IMDB, Joshman started as a writer on CSI back in 2000, so he’s probably older than he seems. OTOH, IMDB has been known to get some facts wrong. Well, whatever his age, all I can say is this, direct from the very center of my soul:

“Hire me, dammit! I’ll mow your lawn! I’ll wash your car! Anything!”

Desperation is ugly, isn’t it?

(EDITED TO ADD: OMG, I just read that he worked on BONES too. Dammit. Dammit to hell!)

I’m so pathetic…