Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 11/16/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • David Marshall Grant (SMASH ) has written the pilot for a new CBS drama series about an ex-GI cop who uses counter-insurgency tactics to try and control gang violence. (Ooh, waterboarding the Crips? Not smart, ex-GI hero dood. Not smart at all.)
  • Peter Murrieta (WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE) is writing the pilot for an unnamed NBC comedy pilot about a stand-up comedian we’ve never heard of. (“About” as in based on his life and act, and starring him. How interested in the lives of stand-up comedians are you, really? We admit that when it comes to that particular subject we’re in the negative zone.)
  • Owen Ellickson (THE OFFICE) is adapting a non-fiction book by Bruce Feiler for a CBS comedy pilot called SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES. (Ooh, isn’t that the clever title? Can’tcha just taste that delicious irony oozing off the printed page and coating our big screen TVs with…you know.)
  • Dan Lagana (ZACH STONE IS GONNA BE FAMOUS) is writing the pilot for another CBS comedy pilot, this one about a newly married couple who are raising both a toddler and a teen. (Simultaneously! Wowza! That’s gonna send the CBS demographic spinning – dizzily, we imagine. )
  • Seth MacFarlane (well-known smug asshat who used to be funny) has sold BORDERTOWN, a new animated series, to Fox. (This one’s supposed to be “a satirical look at America’s cultural shifts through the evolving relationship” between a border patrol agent and his Mexican immigrant neighbor. (Hmm, we’re seriously tempted to start a pool to see who picks the exact date the first irate viewer publicly calls for MacFarlane to be lynched. Any takers?)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 11/15/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Dan Gregor & Doug Mand (HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER ) are developing an untitled NBC comedy about a couple of guys who strike it rich after creating a big deal mobile app. (Which reminds us, somehow, about a certain old saying: The devil is in the details. Think this particular detail will actually, um, mean anything?)
  • Peter Murrieta (WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE) is writing the pilot for an unnamed NBC comedy pilot about a stand-up comedian we’ve never heard of. (“About” as in based on his life and act, and starring him. How interested in the lives of stand-up comedians are you, really? We admit that when it comes to that particular subject we’re in the negative zone.)
  • Elle Triedman (REVENGE) is writing the Lifetime pilot, BLACKOUT (which appears to be a nighttime soap about way more bogus tragedy than we have the space – or inclination – to even mention here.)
  • Kristen Schaal & Rich Blomquist (THE DAILY SHOW) are developing the comedy AMERICAN MONSTER for ABC. (And if it’s anywhere near as funny as THE DAILY SHOW we’ll be thrilled…and, yeppers, surprised.)
  • Collette Burson (HUNG) is teaming with somebody named Anne Heche to write an NBC comedy pilot about a couple of funny people doing funny things. (Sorry, but we lost interest when we saw that Heche was now a writer and then went on to delete the e-mail announcement the second time the word “hilariously” appeared in it. Oh those crazy, zany, pushy PR folks.)
  • Rob Thomas & Diane Ruggiero (VERONICA MARS) are writing a drama called iZOMBIE for The CW, based on – oh, you guessed it – yet another DC Comics property. (Cuz the world’s been holding its breath waiting for another zombie series, right? Except the zombies. They don’t hold their breaths cuz they don’t breathe. Or do they? Time to visit our obviously-a-zombie next door neighbor and see if we can both find out…and get outta there alive.)

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 10/25/12

 

“The best-kept secret in show business is that it’s a business.” (Paul Junger Witt, in Larry Brody’s Television Writing from the Inside Out)

 

  • Dave Goetsch (THE BIG BANG THEORY) is writing the pilot for CBS’ sitcom SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT. (You remember this one. It’s the show that Courtney Love is going to make a shitload off of via lawsuits.)
  • Greg Daniels (THE OFFICE) is writing the pilot for an NBC workplace sitcom about, presumably, things that happen in an office. (We predict Ricky Gervais won’t sue. Unless Courtney love gets to him about it.)
  • Jake Johnson (NEW GIRL) is writing THE B TEAM, a sitcom about “real-life” superheroes for Fox. (How many lawsuits will this one create? Just count the number of films/TV shows that already have done this same thing and then multiply by, oh, let’s say 10 to take into consideration all the writers of scripts entered into online writing competitions with this same premise in the past 4 or 5 years.)
  • Abby Gewanter (PUSHING UP DAISIES) has sold his spec sitcom pilot, DEAR MOM, HERE’S WHY I HATE YOU, to ABC with Jane Fonda set to star. (Watch. Courtney Love’s going to sue because she thinks the show is about her.)
  • Peter Murrieta (WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE) is writing the pilot for an ABC sitcom about a New York handyman and his relationship with a rich young woman. The handyman will be played by Mark Consuelos of Kelly Ripa fame, and the young woman will be played by Kelly Ripa, not coincidentally also of Kelly Ripa fame. (TVWriter™ predicts that by the beginning of Season 2, Murrieta will be filing a lawsuit of his own – trying to get out of this deal.)