by Diana Black
Male Giant Pandas (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) are lousy at sex. Their low libido and lack of interest even when engaged in procreation, coupled with habitat loss, is causing a steady decline in the population. However, all Panda males being equally lack-luster in the bedroom, so no individual Panda male has an advantage over the others and the Panda gene pool is ‘safe’ and the species survives.
What about the gene pool called ‘Hollywood’? How might it look from the outside looking in? Hollywood is perceived by most aspiring screenwriters, actors and filmmakers to be an ‘exclusive restaurant’ securely contained behind thick plate-glass with very few doors, which can only be opened by a gate-keeper or someone who already has a seat at the table. If an aspirant doesn’t know someone of either category then they’re effectively screwed.
Those on the inside, attempting to manifest an air of superiority and exclusiveness, maintain the restaurant is ‘fully-booked’; leaving the hungry aspirants outside, goggling with their noses pressed up against the glass for perhaps weeks, months; even years.