Ever wonder what it would’ve been like to live in beautiful Sunnydale, CA back in the ’90s and, you know, read the local paper?
Well, so have the geniuses behind the Tumblr blog The Sunnydale Press. No, we can’t name them cuz, well, we honestly don’t know who they are. Ooh, a Tumblr blog veiled in secrecy? Who’d a’thought?
The premise behind this little masterpiece of satirical fan journalism is right out there, though: What would the Sunnydale newspaper have told its readers back in the day when the Hellmouth was wide open? What would its website have been like?
The first story, dated March 11, 1997 but posted on October 5th of 2014, sets the tone:
March 11, 1997
Local hotspot The Bronze has been thrust once again into the spotlight this week when at least two club-goers were killed in an apparent gang attack. This is the fourth gang-related incident in Sunnydale this year, and preliminary sources say that both victims died of neck wounds similar to the other attacks.
“We encourage all citizens to come forth with any information regarding this terrible incident,” said Chief of Police Bob Munroe. “It appears that despite earlier warnings, The Bronze has yet to install security cameras, so little is known about the attack aside from conflicting witness accounts.” Munroe also noted, “Everyone should be aware by now of the scourge of drugs and gangs in modern America. Sunnydale is not exempt from the changing times.”
More of this story HERE
March 26, 1997
In the latest tragedy to strike Sunnydale High School, Dr. Stephen Gregory was found dead on campus yesterday morning. Unconfirmed reports claim that Gregory was beheaded through unknown means, though the source was clear that the wounds were different from the current rash of neck traumas suffered by other local victims. Requests to speak with the student who found the body were denied, though Principal Robert Flutie did confirm that the body was found in the cafeteria.
Receiving his doctorate in biology from UC Sunnydale, Gregory was a favorite of his students, some of whom went on to become teachers and scientists themselves, often crediting Gregory with inspiring them to learn. Honor student Eric Gittleson said, “Mr. Gregory was my favorite teacher. He really encouraged all of my ideas, even the ones other people think are, like, too far out there.”
More of this story HERE