Jeez Jon strikes again! We can’t resist this stuff:
by Jeez John
THE MUPPET MOVIE Network Rough Cut 2 Notes Pass
Hello! Thanks for addressing our notes on the earlier cut. Progress has definitely been made but we are still a long way’s off from getting this right. Unfortunately, clarity is still a really big issue. Many scenes are pretty chaotic and therefore not funny. Remember: scenes are only funny when we carefully explain everything to the audience. Also, the characters’ motivations are rather murky. Why is Kermit going to Hollywood? Why would Fozzie join him? What is Janice doing? A very strong and deliberate bite pass is in order; let’s get into the head of every frog, pig, drummer, human and 70’s comedy star we have. Once this bite pass happens, then we can give you some time coded notes. Please see below.
The start of the film has two older people saying arriving at a movie studio saying they are going to see THE MUPPET MOVIE? This self-referential stuff is rather confusing. Do we have any intro bites with Statler and Waldorf? Why are they going to a screening of a movie if they don’t seem too happy about it?If we are setting them up to be a Wendy Pepper/Johnny Bananas/Richard Hatch-type of villain, that’s fine. If not, then they are already coming across as unlikable. In reality, characters are either big villains or extremely likable; they can’t be anywhere in the middle. (Except on competition shows that get nominated for Emmys)
We start with Kermit singing but the video is just a big wide shot of the swamp. How do we know if it’s Kermit singing unless we actually see him? Let’s recut this to show b-roll of the swamp, then a shot of Kermit singing on the log. Man, Kermit is singing and singing and we don’t have a SINGLE bite from him. No no no. Let’s build an intro package with a bite like “Hi, I’m Kermit the Frog. I live in a big swamp and I love playing the banjo!” (Doesn’t have to be exact)
Let’s get some more information about the swamp. Where is it? What it’s like? Is there a pawn shop full of colorful-yet-completely non-threatening people? Dig through your footage and let us know.
When the agent gives his card to Kermit, we really need to hear a bite from Kermit about how his offer about the audition at World Wide Studios is quite enticing. Sure, we can get the idea of this based on Kermit’s sound ups and reactions, but we really need to sell this. If it’s not completely obvious to us, it won’t be to our viewers!
By the way, do we ever hear the answer about why there ARE so many songs about rainbows? If we don’t, let’s cut it; too confusing….