Tag: Nick Santora

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 10/25/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Nick Santora (we just talked about him yesterday) is writing an untitled CBS drama about a “real-life Professor X” who “recruited the world’s greatest brains…to…solve the world’s mst pressing and significant problems” while also teaching each other to, WTF, get along. (“Real-life Professor X?!” Kee-rist! We can’t stand this! We can’t! We can’t! Aargh!)
  • Corinne Brinkerhoff (THE GOOD WIFE) is writing a CW drama pilot about a young woman who is recruited by the CIA to spy on her “recently discovered biological family, a wealthy…dynasty suspected of having criminal alliances across the globe….” (WTF is wrong with these people? Do they really believe any audience will give a flying fuck?! We repeat: Aargh!)
  • Ed Helms & Graham Wagner (THE OFFICE) are writing an animated NBC pilot called MYSTERY ISLAND, which looks like it’s FANTASY ISLAND but a lot less comfortable. (What? They’re missing LOST so much that they want to redo it as a cartoon comedy? And NBC stockholders are supposed to support the salaries of its execs? (Time for another Aargh!)
  • Nicholas Wootton (GOLDEN BOY) is writing a pilot called THE SHRINE for CBS, about a hospital where miracles occur. (It’s based on a forthcoming novel by Gareth Wootton, who just happens to be Nicholas’ father. We understand and appreciate the glorious H’wood tradition that this kind of deal is based on and salute all involved for keeping the flame.)
  • Brian Koppelman & David Levien are out as showrunners for HBO’s upcoming rock and roll drame – the one created by Terence Winter, Martin Scorsese, and some dood name of Mick Jagger. (Creative differences? Already? Who’d a thunk?)
  • Shawn Ryan & Davey Holmes (THE CHICAGO CODE) have a pilot commitment at Fox for their untitled drama about Hawaii in the ’50s. (Cuz…Hawaii! The 50s! Old network commitment that’s gotta be honored! Okay, so we’re not certain about that last, but…rumors.)

Well, as y’all can see, our glorious experiment in being cool and kind has ended after only a decade. Well, it felt like a decade, for crying out loud. We’re sorry, but it’s just impossible to read these press releases about idiotic ideas and not want to throw up on the page a bit as well as in our mouths. In other words, we’ve lost the bet our girlfriend made with us about not being able to go for a week without snarking. But you’ll have to take our word for it that, as wonderful as the promised reward for success was, it wasn’t worth keeping quiet for.

And no, we aren’t going to tell you. Just imagine the most wonderful gift one person in a relationship could give another and multiply by 100…and then factor in that we’re pretty smart, if we do say so ourselves, and already have another plan on how to get it anyway. Just don’t muck that about, okay?

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 10/24/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Barry Schindel (UNFORGETTABLE) is writing the CBS pilot, BLACKWOOD, a drama about a lawyer whose wife is killed, changing his life much the way Richard Kimble’s life was changed in THE FUGITIVE. Except that he isn’t a fugitive.
  • Sheldon Turner (UP IN THE AIR) & KEN NOLAN (BLACK HAWK DOWN) are writing the Fox drama pilot ATLANTIS about two brothers who are, you know, searching for Atlantis. And discovering oceanic mysteries along the way, of course.
  • Nick Santora (BREAKOUT KINGS) is writing BOOTS, a military drama for The CW about recruits who “must overcome their pasts and in so doing build their futures.” And maybe they’ll get in on a little action too?
  • Jared Bush (ZOOTOPIA) & Sam Levine (WRECK-IT RALPH) are developing PENN ZERO: PART TIME HERO, an animated series for Disney XD about a kid who fights the superest of super villains every day after school.
  • Nick Osborne (credits, credits, who knows Nick’s credits?) is wrting DAMASCUS, a CBS drama series about a crusading nun whose “beliefs are tested” when she partners up with an “elitist corporate lawyer” to help those in need of justice. (Oh, God, oh, God, we’re dying to say something snarky here, but we promised, we promised. Maybe if we dig our fingernails into our palms deeply enough…)
  • Stephanie Savage (GOSSIP GIRL) is writing a limited drama series called THE ASTRONAUTS WIVES CLUB about the, um wives of astronauts in the early ’60s, when being an astronaut was way cool. Ms. Savage being the absolutely coolest writer we’ve ever met, we’re firmly on track with making nice about this one.

And thus endeth Day Three of TVWriter™’s new snarkless writing deal announcements. Big thanks to those who wrote to say that they miss the ‘tude. Big “oh, really?” to those who’ve said they like this column better without it. And a Really Big “Shhshh…” to those who’ve pointed out that we’re still being kinda asshatish, just in a different way.