No, it isn’t an iHop breakfast. It’s something even more sinister:
TeamTVWriter Press Service has just learned (read “We got a press release”) that the WWE and Saban Brands have joined forces to produce SATURDAY MORNING SLAM, a kids show on the WC. It’s the first time in over a decade that the WWE has had a show in a kids time slot, and if that doesn’t prove that society is breaking down, nothing does.
Proving that these
idiots people have absolutely no shame (as well as no taste and, certainly, nothing resembling good intentions when it comes to children) the announcement sees nothing wrong with the following statement:
WWE Saturday Morning Slam packs the riveting in-ring action, the larger-than-life WWE Superstars, and the WWE’s entertaining brand extensions into the fastest, most energy-filled half-hour on television. WWE Superstar profiles, behind-the-scenes footage and an exclusive WWE match every week will all combine to make WWE Saturday Morning Slam the perfect destination for the youngest viewers in the WWE Universe. The show will also include highlights from WWE’s Be a STAR anti-bullying campaign and other community initiatives.
Let’s get this straight. The show will expose kids who watch “Vortex,” the CW’s new Saturday morning kids’ TV block to bullying on such a high level that it actually fetishizes it but is going to save the kids’ sensitive souls by also including “highlights of WWE’s Be a STAR anti-bullying campaign and other community initiatives?”
We’re supposed to believe that the WWE is way into mitigating the harm it will cause its viewers’ psyches? Even though if its attempts succeed and their audience stops idolizing bullies the whole company is finished/finito/gone?
Hey, Vince McMahon, “WWE Chairman and CEO,” read our lips. (You do know how to read, don’t you?) “Fuck you.”
Or, in the words of Cynthia Cidre of Dallas, “I’d like to have more music.”