by Larry Brody
Last week I wrote about how to NOT write a good script. Today I’m taking the next step. Here it is, my take on:
HOW NOT TO SELL A SCRIPT YOU’VE WRITTEN
1. 1. Write for the market and not for yourself.
2. Bombard agents with calls and letters about how great your script is.
3. Carry copies of your script with you at all times and give them to everyone you meet, especially any actors.
4. Write long pitches describing your script in great detail.
5. Write for the market and not for yourself.
6. Get producers’ home phone numbers and call them at all hours.
7. Send your drama to a director known for her comedy flair.
8. Send your comedy to a director known for his action excitement.
9. Write for the market and not for yourself.
10. When you receive criticism of your script argue vehemently that the critic is wrong.
11. Lie about your professional experience to give yourself more credibility.
12. Tell potential buyers how the current big hit was ripped off from you and that you’re suing the behonkus off its studio.
13. Did I say to write for the market and not for yourself?
Another in what I hope will be a long run of helpful hints for TV writers here on TVWriter™ every week. Which brings up a point: If you’d like to share some writing tips with your fellow TVWriter™ visitors, please get in touch with me at email@example.com and we’ll try to make a guest post happen.