by Larry Brody
Now, because even though most of you have NOT asked for it – in spite of the face that all of you need it, here’s my take on:
HOW NOT TO WRITE A SCRIPT
1. Start without an outline and wing it.
2. Don’t bother having a central theme.
3. Don’t bother having a central problem.
4. Keep everyone peaceful and avoid conflict at all costs.
5. Have your characters talk and talk and talk.
6. Make sure that key events happen off camera.
7. Start without an outline and wing it.
8. Make your dialog totally realistic, plain, and dull.
9. Don’t write anything that hasn’t been seen before.
10. Have lots of chase scenes.
11. Better yet, make the whole script one long chase.
12. Start without an outline and wing it.
13. Create characters not even a mother could love.
14. Remember that a joke isn’t funny unless you’ve already laughed at it in another movie.
15. Make all your characters victims adrift in the sea of fate.
16. Use lots of fancy descriptive phrases like “adrift in the sea of fate.”
17. Make sure all your characters fail.
18. Did I say to start without an outline and wing it?
Another in what I hope will be a long run of helpful hints for TV writers here on TVWriter™ every week. Which brings up a point: If you’d like to share some writing tips with your fellow TVWriter™ visitors, please get in touch with me at email@example.com and we’ll try to make a guest post happen.