When the dood’s right, he’s right:
by Ken Levine (from Ken’s Stupendous Blog)
Most of the real creativity in Hollywood goes into positive spin. Here are some industry expressions and what they really mean:
“Hospitalized because the actor was simply feeling dizzy due to a medication he was taking for an ear infection” – drunk
“Hiatus” – cancelled
“Good Exit Numbers” – DOA at the boxoffice
“Highly qualified” – knows somebody
“They’re still good friends” – the ugly divorce settlement is still pending.
“They’re just good friends” – they’re humping nine times a day
“I want to spend more time with my family” –fired.
“I want to explore other exciting opportunities” – fired
“Creative differences” – fired
“Parting by mutual agreement” – fired
“We think the script needs a fresh eye” – the director will now destroy your screenplay
“They have a lot of respect for each other” – they despise each other
“No comment” — he did it
“Fielding offers” – unemployed
“Projects in development” — unemployed
“Looking into financing” – unemployed
“Tom Cruise is interested” – I’m a really bad liar
“Proactive” – active
“She’s a perfectionist” – she’s a bitch
“Entry level position” — slave labor
“Thanks for coming by” – no sale, I hated it.
“I really liked it” – thanks for coming by.
“I really loved it!” — it got good coverage
“He’s in a meeting” – you’re not important enough to talk to.
“Back end” – money you’ll never see
“It just needs a little polishing” — page one rewrite
“We’re pleased with the demographics” – the ratings are shit
“Commands a great deal of respect” – he’s a fucking nightmare
“Do you have a card?” – I want to get away from you but don’t want to appear rude.
“Zitcom” – Any half hour on the Disney Channel
“Exhaustion” – overdose
“A private matter” – a public scandal
“I’ll give it a read” – I’m throwing it away
“The studio is really behind it” – it’s going straight to DVD.
“He’s taught me so much” – I’ll never work with that asshole again
“Freelance” – unemployed
“High concept” – gimmicky
“Actor’s Director” – he can’t shoot action movies
“Director’s Director” – his movies haven’t made a nickel.
“Emmy winning writer” — blogger