Britney Spears Inks Deal to Write Novel

Oh God, oh God, oh God. Just kill us now:

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Britney Spears is talking to HarperCollins’ It Books division about writing a novel similar to – gulp – Lauren Conrad’s best-selling LA Candy.

Uh-oh, this just in: HuffingtonPost.Com says it’s now a done deal.

There you have it, gang. All our hopes…gone. All our dreams…shattered. Life is meaningless, empty…


Wait for it…

Unless we can get hold of Ms. Spear’s editor and make the best pitch evah. Cuz you know they’re gonna need a brilliant ghostwriter on this one. A ghost who can capture Britney’s voice and–

No, forget it. Can’t imagine anything more frightening than capturing Britney’s voice.

So, where were we? Oh, right. All our hopes…gone. All our dreams…shattered….

3 thoughts on “Britney Spears Inks Deal to Write Novel”

  1. C’mon, LB. That’s why it’s called a ‘NOVEL’. Comes for the Latin meaning “NEW — UNUSUAL”. One out of 2 ain’t bad. gs

  2. On second thought. I, GERALD SANFORD, a writer of no little renown, hereby volunteer to ghostwrite B.S.’s novel, provided one condition: I don’t have to find out what the “novel” is about, nor read any outline, notes, nor even a single word that Miss Spears might’ve already written. If interested please contact my agent at G.F. YOURSELF AGENCY. gs

    1. Hey, I know the G.F. YOURSELF AGENCY very well. Repped me for years. Loved calling and hearing the receptionist announce their name…

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