McSweeney’s is a Terrific Writer’s Resource

Cuz it brings us helpful bits like this:

McSweeneys-CaptureThe Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do
by Colin Nissan


Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think of your words as reps, your paragraphs as sets, your pages as daily workouts. Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals. Because that is what writing is all about.


Procrastination is an alluring siren taunting you to Google the country where Balki from Perfect Strangers was from, and to arrange sticky notes on your dog in the shape of hilarious dog shorts. A wicked temptress beckoning you to watch your children, and take showers. Well, it’s time to look procrastination in the eye and tell that seafaring wench, “Sorry not today, today I write.”


The blank white page. El Diablo Blanco. El Pollo Loco. Whatever you choose to call it, staring into the abyss in search of an idea can be terrifying. But ask yourself this; was Picasso intimidated by the blank canvas? Was Mozart intimidated by the blank sheet music? Was Edison intimidated by the blank lightbulb? If you’re still blocked up, ask yourself more questions, like; Why did I quit my job at TJ Maxx to write full-time? Can/should I eat this entire box of Apple Jacks? Is The Price is Right on at 10 or 11?

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One thought on “McSweeney’s is a Terrific Writer’s Resource”

  1. Bravo, Colin. Writing is simple. You merely do it! Not once in awhile, or when you have the urge, or God-forbid you have somethng to say. You write — why? Because you’re a writer. No! Because you were blessed with having the talent to write. To tell your story. Blessed with having the talent to do so, to feel the constant thrill, the highs, the lows, creating life — not only on paper — but in your mind, and therefore within your entire body, your very being. Your self! And then passing it on for others to feel. For that’s what you’ve done! You’ve injected your imagination onto others. You shared the wonders of your imagination. Who’s better than us?! gs

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