What TVWriter™ Really Thought of 2013’s TV Series Offerings

Head in Hands

“Psst. Hey, munchman! Where’s the article we promised about the best TV series of 2013?”

“Um, I’m on it, LB. Honest.”

“It’s January 3rd, dammit. I don’t want you ‘on it,’ I want it online. Posted. Now.”

“Yeppers, boss, I hear you. But there’s, you know, a problem.”

Problem? What now?”

“Well…see, I made a list and checked everything over and over and instead of a ‘Best of 2013’ article I end up with a kinda ‘Biggest TV Series Disappointments of 2013 thing.”

“Of course you did, munchy. That’s what television does. It brings in the best writers, directors, actors, and producers in the world and jacks up viewers’ expectations…and then it gives them THE CRAZY ONES, where everyone in the cast tries to be as manic and zany as Robin Williams and fails – and so does Robin. And THE DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, where nothing that happens makes the least bit of sense except the last scene – and by then it’s too late —

“And the show that most reflects the real life I know, BREAKING BAD, goes off the air while GAME OF THRONES, the most pompous display of arrogance and blood-spattered death gets to go on and on and on? Dammit, LB, that’s just not fair. Tell me the truth, big guy. Did you like anything you saw on TV in the last 12 months?”

“INSPECTOR MORSE worked pretty well for me. Binge-watched all 14 years worth of the show last month.”

“But that series ended in 2000.”

“Nothing ends anymore, kid.”

“Okay then, LB. If that’s how you want to play it, I did see a series that blew me away with pleasure this year.”

“Jesus, kid, c’mon already. Make with the proper announcement. What’s its name? Our readers need its damn name!”

“TEXACO STAR THEATER, circa 1949. Saw a couple eps on YouTube. Fucking Milton Berle in drag fucking kills.” 

“There’s your article, munchman: TEXACO STAR THEATER, the best series of 2013! Because everything that was ever on TV is always on somewhere. And when it comes to this medium that I dedicated my entire professional life to, that’s both the good and the bad.”

One thought on “What TVWriter™ Really Thought of 2013’s TV Series Offerings”

  1. Now, THIS is an interesting, intriguing article. The big takeaway here is found in two sentences attributed (of course!) to our BL, LB: “Nothing ends anymore, kid.”. . . “Everything that was ever on TV is always on somewhere.” The world has changed.

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