Television Without Context

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If you already know about Neave.Com, then there’s nothing for us to say. If you don’t, then there’s still nothing to say…except that if you want to watch TV that gives you a genuine sense of surprise, CLICK HERE. And then, you know, click there.

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Cartoon: Performance-Enhancing Drugs for Writers

Grant Snider gets us high…again!

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from IncidentalComics.Com

Felicia Day’s Geek & Sundry Sets 3 New Series

This may seem like just another showbiz P.R. announcement, but it’s much more than that. Can anybody guess why?

Felicia is famous!
Felicia is famous!

The actress-producer’s YouTube Channel has also renewed “TableTop” and “Space Janitors” for additional runs
by Lesley Goldberg

Felicia Day’s Geek & Sundry has renewed two series for additional runs and picked up three new series.

The web sensation’s production company and YouTube Channel has renewed TableTop and Space Janitors and announced an April 1 start date for new shows Felicia’s Ark, Fetch Quest and The Player Ones.

Felicia’s Ark will run Mondays and features Day saving animals from various video games, with viewers helping her decide which ones make the cut in the interactive comedy about the video-game animal kingdom.

The animated Fetch Quest will run Wednesdays and hails from Emmy nominee Jordan Allen Dutton (Robot Chicken). It is described as a witty, irreverent musical comedy about video-game culture.

On Fridays, The Player Ones will feature the sketch team of the same name as it finds the humor in video games ranging from casual to Triple A.

The second season of Space Janitors will run every other Tuesday, while TableTop will return every other Thursday.

In addition, Day and TableTop host Wil Wheaton will team for International TableTop day, a global event celebrating gaming with 55 countries participating and 2,250 events created across local markets via www.tabletopday.com.

“It’s been a year since the launch of Geek & Sundry on YouTube, and I have to say that the success of the channel’s shows have been a true testament to the phenomenal community that we have, and we are so grateful for their support,” Day said. “I’m excited for our upcoming new shows as well as old favorites in our second cycle of Geek & Sundry.”

In its first year, Geek & Sundry’s YouTube channel has amassed 500,000 subscribers with more than 44 million viewers.

Give up? This Hollywood Reporter article is a majorly Big Deal because it’s all about a Web Network and treats it with the same gravitas given previously only to Old Media.

Mark this day on your calendars, kids. Peer production has arrived!

Love & Money Dept – TV Writing Deals for 3/27/13

Latest News About Writers Who Are Doing Better Than We Are

  • Eric Schaeffer (STARVED, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M STILL SINGLE) has sold his comedy series, ERIC SCHAEFFER: LIFE COACH? to the new My Damn Channel Comedy Network, whatever the hell that is. (We think it’s a web channel. Find out more here.)
  • Jeffrey Toobin’s book, The Run of His Life, about the O.J. Simpson trial, has been sold to Fox. No word on whether it’ll be made into a series, a special, or a TV movie. (Whatever it is, we’ll be interested in seeing if anybody watches…cuz it seems to us that there can’t be too many people still alive who remember the Juice. This is old, people!)
  • Tommy Wirkola (HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS) has created a half-hour comedy for Showtime based on his Norwegian series, HELLFJORD. (Ah, showbiz life, just one success after another, eh, Tommy? Oh, wait…)
  • Melissa Carter (JANE BY DESIGN) is writing a dramedy called HOT PROPERTY, based on a book by Michele, Sabrina and Samantha Kleier,  for ABC Family. (The writers of the book are the stars of HGTV’s reality series, SELLING NEW YORK, which of course means that everybody else is dying to be in business with ’em. “They’re stars!” we tells ya. “Stars!”)

Theresa Wiza: New TV Shows Not Yet Made

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by

Ever since I first watched The Dick Van Dyke Show, I have wanted to write for television. I wanted to be part of a team that would mold the characters everyone else would either love or hate. I wanted the camaraderie of writing buddies. I wanted to recline on couches or walk around the office drinking coffee and brainstorming sensational ideas. I wanted to create at least one television show that would result in phenomenal success.

But I didn’t. Instead I raised a family and worked at a variety of places performing numerous – sometimes mundane – other times interesting – tasks, where I contributed my talents to everything from ad design to cocktail waitressing. Wait. I had absolutely no talent for cocktail waitressing.

But I could have written for television. “I could have been a contender.” But maybe I’m just good with concepts. Does Hollywood buy concepts?

Well, Hollywood, here are the top 4 television programs I would have created if only I had known how to move them from my mind to the screen:

(Before I list them, I must explain my spelling on this first one. I was once reprimanded by Google for mentioning certain body parts, so in accordance with Google’s rules, I will exchange the first vowels in each “threatening” word with symbols. Apparently mentioning certain body parts classifies one as a sexual deviant. Case in point: Little Boys Love Their Urinators, previously written as Little Boys Love Their P^nises) – you can read it, if you like, to find out what a deviant I am.

Anyway, here are the NEW TV SHOWS NOT YET MADE:

Four P^nises and a V^gina

Imagine the pitfalls of a married mother raising three boys. Her very tall husband barely hits the toilet and doesn’t really care anyway because he never has to clean it. Her teenage son sulks through numerous puberty situations, her toddler son thinks his penis is a weapon, and the baby loves watching his toddler brother.

Next door to Four P^nises and a V^gina live Four V^ginas and a P^nis – a couple with three teenage girls (teenage son from next door is in love with all of them) whose home has become a common refuge for the next door neighbor mom who LOVES their clean fresh bathroom and yearns for escape from her male dominated home while husband of Four V^ginas sneaks next door for some male bonding.

Hiss and Growl

This animated cat and dog show points out our human frailties, prejudices, stupid ideas, and more, as different breeds of cats and dogs with amazingly human characteristics interact with other cats and dogs.

“I HATE Michelle Dogama!”

“Why? What has Michelle Dogama ever done to you?”

“Nothing. I just hate her. HATE HER! DO YOU HEAR ME? I ABSOLUTELY HATE HER!”

“OK! I get it! But what about her do you hate?”

“Everything!”

“You can’t just throw a blanket over her to cover everything. Be specific.”

“The way she talks, the way she looks, the way she dresses, EVERYTHING!”

“I think she speaks very well, looks very classy, and dresses quite elegantly.”

“Well, yeah, you would, you Dogamat!”

These Are Your Lives

Viewers become unwilling participants just by accidentally tuning in (some people just can’t help themselves) to These Are Your Lives where they find themselves spiritually transported onto the set of a show that is always in progress. The host and other members of the viewing audience examine the past lives of contestants to explain why viewers are wrestling with their current situations. As their bodies remain in their homes they are aghast when they realize that they have accidentally tuned in to the only program they were warned to avoid!

The show addresses all kinds of problems. Here is one of them:

“I don’t want to be here.”

“But you tuned in.”

“It was an accident! I didn’t mean to land on your channel!” (crying now)

“But you did. And now you’re here.”

“But why??????”

“Well, isn’t it obvious? The reason you are fat in this life is because you made fun of fat people in your last life. Here. Watch yourself.”

The screen shows the contestant at various stages in her life making fun of fat people. Her body is obviously different on the screen and she, quite naturally, has no memory of her past life.

(still crying) “That is NOT me. I would NEVER say anything like that.”

“Yes, folks, the common thread that unites all of our contestants is denial, denial, denial.”

And what do contestants win? An opportunity to have their past lives examined and the chance to be on TV, of course!

In Character

(I won a Reader’s Digest contest with the logline for this one – my award? – Larry Brody’s book, Television Writing from the Inside Out!)

In Character, a spinoff of various television programs, brings actors together who remain “in character” from their different sitcoms, dramas, and reality shows while interacting with a three-generation family of “characters.”

Imagine all of your favorite actors from all of your favorite programs coming together week after week in one new offbeat comedy where they remain “in character” from their previous sitcom. In Character is a sitcom about an eccentric but young ex-hippie grandmother, a creative attractive ad-copy mother, and a trying-to-find himself college-age son, who daily interact with characters who remain “in character” of the sitcom from which they come. Audiences watch their favorite actors from a variety of programs, perform together in an offbeat comedy where, week after week, different characters work together In Character. I even wrote the pilot for this one. Oh, well.

And that, my dear readers, is my contribution to the new generation of TV shows that are not yet made – and probably never will be – in my lifetime anyway. Having said that, I would LOVE for somebody – anybody – reading this to prove me wrong. 🙂