Kristin Newman on Writing the Unlikable Character

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER’S Kristin Newman is out and about selling her new memoir, What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding. Not only do we love the title, but we’re going to embrace her writing advice as well:

kristin-newmanby Kristin Newman

I had my therapist give me notes on my memoir.

Now I realize this makes me sound like the most neurotic, navel-gazing jackass writer in Los Angeles. But the reason I asked her to read it is that I desperately wanted to make sure I got my story right. And, even more importantly, that I got it right in a way that didn’t make me sound like the most neurotic, navel-gazing jackass writer in Los Angeles.

I wanted to make sure I was likable.

“Make the main character more likable.” This is the note that TV writers get most often from network executives. We make fun of it, we rant about antiheroes, and about how Archie Bunker was a grumpy racist and yet a beloved and important character who personified a moment in American time. We bang our heads about how “likable” isn’t necessarily “interesting” or “funny,” and bitch over coffee and takeout that this is why network TV fails: because it is filled with perfect, attractive, boring people who look exactly alike (which one was The Guy, which one was The Girl, and which one was The Pizza Place?) and who are always, always good at their jobs. (Network executives mysteriously have a hard time finding someone likable if they aren’t good at their jobs.)

But then I found myself writing a memoir. And suddenly, man, did I want that main character to be likable! So much so that I found myself working through some chapters with my therapist, to try to figure out a way to, well, like myself at certain moments of my life. Oof, I really did treat that guy poorly. Eek, I really was spinning my wheels, making trouble where there was none. I’m really going to write all of this down and then publish it???

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